Tips for dealing with severe shyness and social anxiety?
Tuesday, September 7th, 2010 at
11:45 pm
On September 2nd I start my freshman year of high school, and I am very very shy (I have strong social anxiety). Have any tips of how to deal with it and be social when school starts? Thank you.
Filed under: Panic Attacks
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i suffered with social anxiety through about 12-15 years old, as a young man i felt insignificant and powerless, i started body building, reading literature, saying yes to oppurtunity over powering my own thoughts and improving myself in every aspect i could, it worked out fine i became a kind of protector of the weak intelligent kids against the chavs/jocks and was the largest person in the school including the teachers, i felt significant and like people had to prove themselves to me rather than them proving themselves to me, analyse the content of the situation you feel shy and work out what triggers it and evolve it purposely gert into the situation and over come it.
hope this helps, also another little trick i found might not work for everyone, energy drink stop me from feeling embarassed it was kinda weird similar to being drunk and yet mentally aware it really help i had a litre of it a day, not the healthiest option though
Build your self confidence, and your self esteem , then you must have garage, and let your self go to be equated with people who you like to be friend with, that is all to it.
Just smile at people first, then say hi (believe me people like it when you smile and say hi to them, if you know them) if you wanna be friends with someone sit near them so you can get comoforatlbe around them and talk, ask questions (people LOVE to talk about themselves) find common ground with people, join clubs and sports. Just remember that people are just like you and your friends so just be casual and ask questions be nice. and smile!!!
First, if you actually have social anxiety and that affects your schoolwork, you might be able to get accommodations so teachers won’t be able to punish you for not answering questions, etc. If it’s just social, it still might help to have your parents talk to your teachers about it so they know what’s going on.
But for dealing with other kids…
*Make sure you really like the clothes you’re wearing and your hairstyle, etc. the first day. The way you look won’t make a huge difference, but you don’t want to feel uncomfortable about it.
*Also, if you can, you should walk around the school beforehand so you’re comfortable with your surroundings.
*Before you go, write and memorize down a list of reasons why someone should love to be your friend. For instance, "I am very creative" or "I am loyal to my friends." Flatter yourself. If you can’t think of enough, ask someone in your family and any friends you already have. Then, remember this whenever you’re unsure or need a self-esteem boost.
*Also, write a list of things you are afraid of or situations that could come up and why you can deal with them. For instance, "Someone might think I’m stupid. But this probably won’t happen because it’s only the first day and nobody judges someone that quickly. Besides, my grades will soon show that I’m smart." Or "The teacher might ask us to introduce ourselves. I can deal with this because it’s easy to say my name and what middle school I went to – I know this so well that I can’t blank out. I will take deep breaths and remember that other people don’t like the attention to be on them, either, and it’ll only take a moment." Write whatever will comfort you.
*Eat something healthy for breakfast the day of and don’t drink caffeine, if you ever do that, which can make you more nervous.
*When you get to class, look around at the people you’re with. If you have a choice of seats, sit by someone who looks nice. Smile at them and say hi. If that’s hard for you, remember that everyone likes to be smiled at and most people will be looking for new friends their first day, so you won’t seem strange at all, just friendly.
*Introduce yourself: "I’m ___." If this person is interested in you, they’ll tell you theirs and probably ask a question back. If they aren’t interested, try the next person. Remember that not every person is going to want to meet you, but someone will. Someone will be as desperate as you are to find someone friendly! Also, think about your list of reasons why someone would want you as a friend. You’re offering them something.
*To start a conversation, you can ask someone what their schedule is or where they went to school before or what they think of their classes so far. Let the other person talk if you’re nervous. They’ll love to talk about themselves.
*If someone says hello to you, be sure to smile and answer. You know that this person is friendly, so this is a great chance.
*Remember that other people are shy, too. You can’t always tell what they’re feeling, either. I know this is true because if you met me, you’d think I’m totally confident, but you’d be wrong.
*Try to find someone friendly before lunch. Then, you can sit with them at lunch. It might seem like a long time to be with another person, but you’ll spend half of it eating.
*The second day, say "hi" again to anyone you said it to the first day. Even if you didn’t have a conversation with them already, this will keep the connection going. You might make a friend on the first day that you’ll keep forever, but it’ll probably take a little while.
*Deep breaths always help. You can also try tensing and relaxing your muscles – sometimes you don’t realize how tense you already are until you do this.
*Think "I can do this" and "I’m strong" and "I’m doing a good job meeting people." Never let yourself think negatively.