I’ve had chronic back pain since I was 17. The first thing that happened to me was I fell on the ice play broomball and dislocated my right shoulder, My Dr. at the time didn’t see any reason for PT or anything. Since that injury, I’ve had a lot of really hard spots that hurt badly on my right upper back. There is one spot in particuoar that feels so bad, all the time, like its going to burst open. It feels like an old, dry rubber band stretched to its max capacity and its going to pop, Its a combo of burning/tinlging, sharp pain and ache. It also became really easy for me to injure and reinjure my beck and upper back.
Recent problems that have been a whole lot worse started around a year and a half ago. I’ve been in 3 car-wrecks in the past two years. The worst of the three was with a semi-truck doing 75 mph on the freeway and then getting thrown off-road into a deep embankment. I really hurt my neck then. For that, I did mainly chiropractic and a little PT.
It got a lot better and the pain came and went up until June. I hit a deer, and everything has been worse than ever before since then. (Even worse than the wreck with the semi! Sounds crazy…)
I have been trying everything I can to get a proper diagnosis, treatment for the actual problem, and symptomatic releif…but I’ve hard a really hard time all the way around.
First doc I went to wouldn’t even take an xray and precribed naproxen and gave me the basic, "You’re young and you’ll heal hast" rundown. Things got progressively worse (there was either a new symptom or a serious increase in how bad symptoms were about every other day.) The second doc I went to took an xray. She said that my neck had the curve missing out of it and thought it was because spasms were causing enough inflammation to pull them apart. She said the xray showed a few "pinch-marks" and that I had a pinched nerve. (Which was what I thought because I was getting a lot of pins and needles and very painful arm and leg. (Sciatica, like when I was pregnant…But I also know that this at least doesn’t sound like it makes sense since amrs being affected by pinched nerves are because of a problem with the cervical spine and sciatica is caused by compression of spinal cord or nerve at the lumbar spine. Anyway, this doc put me in a soft collar, precribed flexeril, naproxen and lorab…she also sent me to a great PT. The PT was very thorough and gentle. I got very minor pain relief, but at least felt like the cause was being worked on, and that maybe I’d start to get better…Then some bad life stuff happened, and I wound up not being able to continue PT or follow-ups with the Dr. So I after the personal crisis time was cooled a little, I continued to try and just push through it for awhile without the pain meds or muscle-relaxants (I heard, anyway, that if you are on long-term meds for pain or muscle relaxants that its neccessary to to breaks from them to do a cleanse from time to time, because the stuff is pretty toxic.) and I unfortunately lost my spot with the PT I liked so much. So I just managed to get through until I got really bad. Then I went to yet another Dr. This time it was a walk-in clinic. The Doc was SUCH a jerk. I walked out of that office VERRRY pissed off, embarrassed and discouraged. He pretty much said that a lot of things like "what I have" are things you just have to get used to and was not at all hesitant to basically suggest that I was being a giant wuss. He went over the notes from the other docs and said something like ,"Oh, 0k so they did an xray…and you asked them too?? And…it looks like….they didn’t find anything?" And I told him again that the other doc said my neck had been pulled straight to where the curve was gone and that I had a pinched never, and that from the xray the doc said she saw, "pinch-marks." (I had no idea, and still have no idea, what pinch marks are!) He kind of scoffed, chuckling, and basically told me to get over it. At the point where I was when I finally went back in to see a doctor, I had gotten to where dealing with my 2-year-old, washing dishes and fixing my hair had become very difficult, to say the least. The constant burning/tingling pain in the trapezius muscle and that one really sharp part that felt like itg was going to break open had become maddening. My hand was falling asleep all the time. My right arm and leg ached really badly. I was miserable and becoming depressed. I was (and still am) in transition mode from splitting up with my kids’ father, so I was staying with a friend. I was helping with her kids and housework to earn my keep, and the kids’; noise and energy level was starting to drive me insane, and I’m usually all about taking the kids to the park, painting, playing games, etc. I was becoming increasingly depressed and couch-bound. I felt embarrassed because I wanted to be a big help around my friend’s house. I was becoming sad because when everyone took off for the river or a hike or something, I had to sit it out because I was hurting too bad. I hadn’t even had time to process how I felt about getting out of a 5-year relationship, because all my focus, no matter how determined I was not to let it happen, was on how bad I felt. And it just got worse every day. So I was really pissed and discouraged (and even a little scared…how was I going to fix this or at least manage it if I couldn’t make a doctor understand how badly it was impacting my life??? I’m a full-time student and single mom…School’s about to start, and I’m also going to need to work part-time to make ends meet.) I walked out of that office with a new Rx for PT (which he was relcuctant to give me. He also said he’d find a regular Dr. for me to manage this problem so that I don’t have several different people trying to figure it out at once. I went to the PT he suggested. Neck traction makes me feel like I’m dying, so I have asked her not to do that anymore, but I did find that the ultrasound therapy helped the trapezius pain a little. I’ve been seeing this PT for a few weeks now.
Then I went to the internal md the guy referred me to. I went in with high hopes of someone who’s get it, research it, and fix me up. I came out disappointed again. He did all the strength test on me (which they always do, and which I hav no problems with except that the reflex on my right knee is just a little slow.) He jabbed around at the trapezius stuff and called it "trigger points." He scheduled an MRI for a few weeks out (which is this friday, now) for my cervical and throacic spine. I was disappointed because #1 he seemed to think I was exaggerating how much pain I’ve been in. and because #2 he also gave me the run-down on the fact that I am young and that I shoud heal well, and that I should be able to take the pain better than someone older. (This always perplexes me. Is there some evidence to support that the same impulses the brain percieves as pain is more rolerated by someone in the late 20s than someone in their 40s? I also wish I had the courage to argue with Dr.s and tell them that in the mid to late 20s, its really common for people to be working more physically demanding jobs, and for us to have small children who require their parents to supervise them constantly, which boils down to us being at least in a slow-jog for most of the day. We also don’t have the capability to just lie down and take a nap when we don’t feel well. It wouldn’t work to tell my 2-year-old, "Ok honey, mom’s back really hurts so I’m going to nap. So don’t learn how to open the front door today and go get hit by a car outside. Please don’t find anything bite-sized that could be choked on in the componets of the vacuum, phone or remote. Please don’t pull the tv on top of yourself or drown in the toilet. Please don’t decide I didn’t get to your post-nap diaper promptly enough and take it off, causing a horrid mess. Please just keep yourself entertained and don’t have a separation-anxiety meltdown…because mom needs to rest, ok?" LOL
By the time I had gone into his office, I had gotten even worse. My uncle came to town and I was supposed to get to meet him and my mom for lunch, since I hadn’t seen him in alost 5 years….I had to blow it off. My friend took my daughter fishing and I didn’t get to see her catch her very first fish 
I was not only putting off harder, crappier things to do, now I’ve been missing out on fun, too. I am down to 108 pounds, and I’m 5′4 (118-124 is normal for me…I do tend to lose some when I am under stress, but not uaually quite so dramatically.) The doc told me that pain meds wouldn’t help anything unless I needed sleep at night, but that I could have them if I wanted. He left the room to schedule my mri, but never came back. His nurse was the one who gave me my time for the mri and a prescription for a sedative for the mri (which I thought was sort of wierd.) So when I got home I called and said I never got my pain meds. They said I had to go back to get the paper copy…that they don’t call things to pharmacies. So I did, and the prescription was for ultram. I’ve taken ultram twice in my life. For about the first few hours, it works fairly well on the pain, but then soon after, I slowly develop a blindingly bad headahce. I’m talking "please just kill me quickly" sort of headache. Then the next day I wake up and the hdeache is even worse, and I vomit all day long. I told the nurse this who was trying to get me to sign something saying I picked the ’script up. She got all annoyed and said, "Well I can tell your right now that he probably won’t give you a narcotic." I told her that the lortabs were the only thing that worked, but that they didn’t help all that much, so I’d be totally willing to try something else. So they gave me lyrica. I gave it a good, solid test-run where I put as much faith into it as I could. It didn’t do anything at all for any of the pain. Not even the parasthesia I’d hoped it would help somewhat. And it also made me really dizzy…To the point it was like I was drunk (not mentally or anything…just in the dizzy sense. My thoughts were clear and everything…I just couldn’t keep my balance. I called in the following mondahy to let them know it wasn’t working and I needed to give something else a try. They never called back. So I tied Tuesday,and no call back. I was just leaving voicemails for the RN at the office, since this is your only option. I’ve tried several times to call and say that I am absoltely full-on miserable and need to do SOMETHING to help the pain. I even suggested maybe we try nerve block or TENS or corisone shots…still no one will call me back. So, unfortunately I had to go into a walkin clinic. Its one of those ones where you have to pay likde 45 bucks cash…no insurance excepted. My friend who broke her tailbone said that’s where she went for pain meds. She said its never a problem. And it wasn’t for me either. I got a steriod (yet to do anything) a muscle relaxer (knocks me out, but doesn’t relieve my pain) and lortabs, which only relieve my pain a very little bit. I have a feeling that my new primary dr. will not be very happy about it, but it got to the point where it was completely unbearable. I had to do something and the jerks wouldn’t call me back…
Where I’m at now is: pain in arm and leg get worse all the time, but is currently a little better controlled with the lortab. My lower beck/upper back and that one real bad spot in trapezius are in constant pain, and just barely have the edge taken off my the pain meds. I feel grouchy and sort of irritable when I take the lortabs. I know they are addictive and are a drug of abuse for a lot of people, but I can honestly say that I don’t enjoy the narcotic feeling. I must have a different body chemistry or something, because I don’t feel euphoric like a lot of people do when they take pain-pills. Sometimes I do think that the narcotic feeling confuses me enough to distract me from the pain that it actually directly helps the pain…but I don’t find the pills to be fun to take. I feel like I am a less kind and warm mom when I take them. If there was anything that actually worked that wasn’t narcotic, I’d waaaay rather take that. But for the time being, its the only drug that helps the pain at all…and even then only a little. So I feel almost as though I need them to function, but that I’d much rather try a non-pill realted pain-management method…like the nerve block or the electrode things. I just can’t seem to get across to any doctor that my pain isn’t merely a nuissance…its (at the rist of sounding dramatic) taking over my life. And by their own admission, I’m young. In my opinion, instead of their suggestion that that makes me more able to function with daily pain, I feel that I shouldn’t have my younger years wrecked by being in agony every single waking moment. I shouldn’t wish that it was bed time as soon as I get up every morning. I want to play with my daughter and actually get to make some new friends now that I’m out of a wierd, mentally-abusive relationship. I want to feel excited about all the new potential my life has now that I’m free of b.s. and that I can regain my self-esteem and have fun with life instead of pretty much feeling now that my life sucks. I explained to this last dr (the one whose office won’t return my phone calls, and don’t seem to think I deserve a way to manage my pain, even if its non-drug relateld) that I have a decent pain threshold and a good grasp of the pain scale. I gave examples of frames of reference. A 10 on the pain scale in childbirth or the gas chamber from when i was in the army. A 9 is like an abscessed tooth. An 8 is like a broken bone. A 7 is like a really bad diney infection….and so on down the line. And I told him that if the pain isn’t aggitated by something else. Its at a constant 7.5. If I try and do some dishes or have to move really abruptly to keep my kid from doing something that will hurt her or destroy something, it sill go to an 8.5. If I am in a chair too long to type or write, or sometimes when I am trying to fall asleep because the sciatica acts up even worse, it’ll jump to a 9.
I’m really, really sorry this had to be so long…I just wanted to give nough background. That way a medical pro on here he or she might have some idea with what is wrong. They may have some pointers in getting the dr. to understand that I am not exaggerating and that I need to have my back fixed and in the meantime I need to somehow manage the pain so I don’t have to wish i was unconsious every waking second. I would like to be referred to the spine and pan center. They have a team of people who work together who figure out a diagnosis, help psychologically in dealing with chronic pain, and mostly they try every measure there is out there to get your pain under control. They do pt, alternative stuff like massage and acupuncture, all the different neurological tools that I don’t understand uet, and (what sound most promising to me) anesthesia. They only problem is that my primary dr. really does seem to thik that I am exaggerating either because I am depressed, because I want narcotics (which I DO for the short-term, but he won’t let me have them anyway and I’m still going
to see him) or that I want attention. Anway…I need advice as to how i can go about managing my pain to the point of being functional…Bcause my MRI is friday….and I really think that they’ll find herniated disc/s and I am thiking my respnse from my dr. will go something like, "Well…good thing youre only 27…ten years from now iy might REALLY be giving you trouble
Trevon, Did you mean to link to that page, or was it a mistake & you had something that helped you but it was just the wrong address? If it was intentional: Hardy har. Yeah, ok I’m a baby. Before the worst of my problems with this thing, I used to think b1tching and whining from people’s "owies" was annoying too,so I get it. When an injury starts messing with your ability to be a functional, happy person though, its hard not to complain and feel depressed. I prided myself on being the best mom a person could be..a good friend.. a kinda pretty, (not that I’m concieted. I know I’m a total dork) fit , fun chick..a great student, and someone who was starting to have a love-affair with life. Now I feel like a slacker mom, an overskinny girl with dark circles under my eyes, crappy posture and a goofy-looking walk. So I get the diaper joke and normally would think its pretty funny. If the link’s wrong and you have something that helped you, I’d love to see it though, and *sorry.*
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Anxiety- Just the thoughts of recurring events and fears of whats to come, just a mental meltdown.